All Hail the Manuals!
by QTHorror
Summary: I didn't know what I was getting in to when a delivery man knocked on my door and left a giant human sized box in my living room. I already had enough to worry about with taking care of my three year old son, but the world too. Thank God for manuals!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So yeah I have officially jumped on the Manual Fics based off of LolliDictator's manual fics bandwagon. So yeah if you haven't noticed I'm pretty uncomfortable writing in 1st person, but I wanted to try it. So yeah please review and tell me what you think. And please don't flame; I don't mind critique in fact I welcome it, but please don't be rude about it.

~PRG

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><p>I yawned in exhaustion as I typed away at my laptop's keyboard. My eyes burned from both tiredness and the strain of staring at letters and numbers for eleven hours. It is hard doing what I do for a living, but it is my only option.<p>

And what do I do for a living you ask, well I work as a linguist in the U.S. Air Force. Now I probably know what you're thinking, "What's so difficult and tiring about translating messages?" Well when you stare at a computer from eight in the morning to four in the afternoon, come home and have to contend with a three year old, and to top it all off, you have online night courses from six to eleven, it begins to wear on your nerves (not to mention health).

I mean I'm nineteen for fuck's sake and I feel like I'm eighty! Yeah, do the math and you'll see I had a son at sixteen, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. So yeah, I didn't really have any other option than to join the military.

Glancing lazily at my computer's clock I noted it was 10:54; my history teacher decided to have a little mercy on us and end class six minutes early. That meant I could go to bed early.

Moving the mouse pointer to the red "X" at the top of the page I quickly closed the window and powered down my computer. Standing I could feel my bones pop; I have to admit it felt good considering I had spent most of the day and night in a chair.

Pivoting on my heel I let a fond smile slip across my face as my eyes found my son's platinum blond hair peaking out from under my bed's blankets. Crossing the room as silently as I could I managed to slip in to bed without waking him up. I sighed softly in relief and closed my eyes, a few seconds later and I was dead to the world.

And it seemed like only seconds had passed before I was being forced back to consciousness by a mysterious shaking and a voice calling out something.

"Mommy!"

Man that voice sounded familiar, but whoever it was was beginning to annoy me.

"Mommy!"

I let out an annoyed grunt and rolled over. _God please let them go away!_

"MOMMY!"

Flying up in to an awkward sitting position I was ready to lay in to whoever it was that had interrupted my sleep, but when my eyes focused on my son's brilliant blue eyes and frown most of my annoyance melted away.

"Mommy someone's at the door."

I could feel my eyebrows shoot up at that statement. Glancing quickly at the clock on my desk I let out a groan. Who the hell in their right mind would knock on a door at 7:30 in the freaking morning!

Tugging on my pajama shirt's sleeve brought me back in to reality. Focusing on my three year old that now had a pout on his face I tilted my head in question.

"Mommy I'm hungry."

A small chuckle forced it's way from me as I ruffled his hair affectionately. "Then let's go answer the door. I'm sure whoever is out there is getting pretty annoyed. After we take care of them then I'll make you some pancakes." I loved the way my son's pout melted in to a broad smile.

Grabbing my son we exited my room and made our way down the stairs with the sound of knocking (banging actually) getting progressively louder.

Putting my son on the couch in the living room I quickly crossed to the door before whoever was behind it decided they would rather break it down.

Unlocking the door I pulled it open and was greeted with a man in a mint green delivery outfit and a scowl.

Recovering quickly the man glared at me in annoyance before brusquely asking, "Are you Adrian Saine?"

Narrowing my eyes slightly I nodded warily and answered with a soft "Yes."

Not two seconds later I found an electronic signer shoved in to my hands. Confused I could only stare blankly at the man.

Apparently someone had pissed in his cereal that morning and he decided to take it out on the people he delivered whatever it was they had (or hadn't) ordered. "Look lady I don't have time for this! Now do you want _me_ to move that big ass box inside or do _you_ want to move it yourself!"

It was my turn to glare. _What a douche bag_. It was then that what he said registered. Glancing behind him I did indeed find a human sized box and damn did it look heavy.

Returning my attention to the delivery man I stepped aside to signal that he could move it in.

The man huffed in annoyance before moving to the box. Ten minutes later my son and myself were staring at the giant box, one of us in fascination and the other in horror. In my hands I held a booklet with the title of "**FELICIANO VARGAS: User Guide and Manual**."

What the hell! Did someone send me a human being!

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><p>AN: So yeah I know I asked this at the beginning of the chapter but please review.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yay! I got the next chapter out. Um anyway it has come to my attention that some of you may be confused; this is all my fault. I didn't clarify myself. So I apologize sincerely and I will try and remedy this. Before that however I must give a big heartfelt thanks to: **cross-over-lover232**, **Patrich11**, **Cifer10**, **LolliDictator**, and **libertykid**. Thank you guys so much for reviewing!

_Why is Adrian nineteen? _Well to be honest I randomly picked her age before I even had part of the plot figured out and it seemed to work with the ideas that were swimming around in my head so I just went with it.

_Why is her job so good? _I wanted to do something with a character in a military branch since I haven't seen it done yet; also the Cryptologic Language Analyst Apprentice (a.k.a Linguist) job isn't easy to qualify for in the Air Force plus it was the job that I know the most about. I was thinking about putting her in Security Forces, but it didn't fit with the story. Also in the military you get a steady paycheck; you are payed on the first and the fifteenth. Your pay also depends on your rank and with the Linguist job you get a $14,000 sign on bonus. And if you sign on for a six year contract you automatically get the rank of E-3 (Airmen First Class). As an E-3 you get payed $1730 every month.

_How is she managing a full time job and online courses?_ It is possible if you are only going to school part time (trust me my mom is doing that at the moment), you're just going to be dog tired all the time.

I hope this has cleared up most of the confusion. I couldn't reveal some stuff because it is going to play a part in some of the upcoming chapters. Anyway if you guys still have questions PM me and I will answer them to the best of my ability.

~PRG

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><p>I stared at the gigantic box in disbelief and confusion. <em>There is no fucking way there could be a person in there. That's just nuts!<em> _At least I hope there isn't._

That wasn't the only thing that was bothering me; I could swear I had heard the name Feliciano Vargas before but I couldn't remember where. I spent a few minutes scouring my brain before shrugging mentally. I would think more on it later.

The "user manual and guide" was still clenched in my fists so I figured I had better read it to maybe try and get a handle on the situation. Flipping it open I began to read through it and with every passing sentence I could feel my eyebrows flying higher (and I couldn't help but blush when I read the Tech. Specs.). Apparently my fears would be coming true; there was actually a person in that damned box!

My breath came out shakily and I closed the book with a snap. _Shit! What in the hell am I going to do? If someone is in that box I'm going to have to get someone to investigate this!_ Risking a quick glance at my son I wasn't surprised to find he was staring at me in anticipation.

Groaning mentally I flipped open the manual again and reread it. _So you have to wake whoever is in the box up. And with this "unit" you don't really have to worry about waking him the wrong way. And what the hell? The last option for waking him up involves a hair curl and "brother unit"? Why is this so damn familiar!_

A foreboding feeling washed over me as I settled on waking option number one. So I set about making the pasta under the annoyed gaze of my son. Glancing over my shoulder from my position in front of the stove I noted my son seemed to be bouncing in place. _At least someone is excited about this mess._

More than a little frustrated I glared at the stove's digital clock. Now it was 8:14; damn I was lucky today was Saturday. My sigh echoed through the kitchen as I ladled out the pasta on to a plate and made my way back in to the living room.

Swallowing my growing nerves I placed the pasta down on the coffee table and crossed to the other side of the room to grab the crowbar that I had forgotten to put back with my other tools. Returning back to the box I gave my son a stern look.

"Anderson stay back by the couch." Nodding in approval when he listened I returned my attention to the box. Placing the pasta near it I could do nothing but wait and pray.

Not even half a second later a pounding filled the room for about two seconds before it was replaced by sobs. Disturbed that there really was a person inside the box I quickly tore in to the box and managed to get it open.

No sooner than I had opened the box I was enveloped in a bone-crushing hug.

"~Vee~ Thank you pretty lady for saving me from the mean box!"

My eyes widened. _Oh God say it isn't so! Please tell me I didn't just walk in to the Twilight Zone! _I knew that voice and the inane verbal tic; it was _the _Feliciano Vargas also known as Italy Veneziano from Hetalia. Struggling to get out of the absurdly strong grip I was startled when my son ran from his position by the couch and kicked the Italian's shin.

"Let go of my mommy!"

Said Italian released me with a cry and began to sob while rolling on the ground holding his leg. Picking Anderson up I tried to comfort him as much as I could. Feliciano's sobs finally died down to soft whimpers and I was able to speak.

"Okay what the fuck! You're not real!"

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><p>I couldn't help the smile that slipped on to my face as I watched the newest addition to my household and my son interact. <em>Things have calmed down quite a bit. At least they're getting along now. <em>

Shaking my head minutely I must admit that I was still in shock. After the incident that morning Feliciano had explained the whole "unit" thing (well as best as he could with his limited attention span). Not fully trusting his explanation I looked up the customer service number in the manual and called. Their explanation was a bit more informative and I was satisfied for the time being.

My thoughts vanished like smoke as Anderson toddled up to me. "Mommy I'm hungry."

Smiling I affectionately mussed his hair before replying, "Well how about I make some spaghetti? That sound good?" Two sets of cheers met my inquiry.

"~Vee~ Miss Adrian is going to cook pasta!"

Giggling silently I began to gather the needed ingredients. _Hmm, let's see I need hamburger meat, sauce, noodles, mushrooms, bell peppers, and water of course._

"Hmm, Feliciano would you please grab the canister with the spaghetti noodles in it. It's in the pantry. Oh and grab two cans of mushrooms too, please!"

"~Vee~ Right away commander!"

Humming in amusement I set a pot of water to boil before make my way to the freezer. Opening the door I rummaged around until I found the hamburger meat. Pulling it out and closing the freezer door I contentedly made my way back to the counter by the stove.

"~Vee~ Miss Adrian here's what you asked for."

Glancing up from the items I opened my mouth to thank him but I was interrupted by the kitchen phone. Abandoning my tasks I hurried over to it and snatched it up. "Hello?"

"So do you like your present?"

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><p>AN: Sorry if this chapter sucks and if Feli is OOC. I rewrote this chapter three times.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm really sorry that it took so long to get this chapter out; I have been excessively lazy. And please forgive the shortness, I literally wrote and re-wrote this chapter five different times; I would write then become dissatisfied with what I had written so I would write it again. So yeah this chapter really gave me trouble. I also would like to ask those of you that have faved or alerted this story to please review. I understand if you wanted to wait for a few chapters before reviewing, but please tell me your thoughts. Here is a giant heartfelt thanks to: **cross-over-lover232, **Patrich11, **Cifer10, **LolliDictator, **libertykid, kimmay94, invisiblecanada**********, and **everyone who has added this story to their alerts and faves**.

~PRG

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><p>A frustrated sigh left me as the pounding in my head kicked up its tempo. It hurt like a bitch and it was all my dad's fault. Oh, I really should explain what's going on shouldn't I?<p>

Well that phone call I received was from my father (obviously) and in that one, single call he had successfully fucked up my life beyond repair.

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><p>"<em>So do you like your present?"<em>

_The air was expelled from my lungs in a loud 'whoosh'. __**Oh no! Oh no, no, no!**_

"_Well Adrian, do you?"_

_It took a moment of sputtering and cursing (internally and externally) for me to formulate a semi-coherent response._

"_D-dad!"_

_In the background of my kitchen I heard Anderson's excited exclaimation of 'Grandpa!' and the pattering of his feet on the linoleum. Under normal circumstances I would've let him talk to his grandpa, but I needed answers first._

"_You're articulate today Adrian. And was that Anderson?"_

_Swallowing harshly I could feel my temper flare._

"_Yes that was your grandson, but that's not important at the moment. Dad how did you…? Don't tell me you're behind this!"_

_My dad's sudden chuckle answered my question immediately. Irate, I was going to lay in to him but he beat me to speaking._

"_Guilty as charged. Now before you have a fit just hear me out."_

_Reigning in my anger I let out a long-suffering sigh in response. I knew what I was about to hear would not be to my liking._

"_Fine but it had better be a damned good explanation!"_

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><p>Needless to say the explanation fell short of my expectations. My wonderful father (note the sarcasm) had decided I needed help around the house and had entered a contest to win new creations called 'units'. The 'units' were designed to be exact replicas of popular anime and manga characters. And these new creations were not cheap, hence the need of a contest for advertising purposes. It was just my luck that my dad had won and that he had picked characters from the Hetalia franchise.<p>

Good old dad had then informed me that my second unit would be arriving Monday. So I spent the whole weekend freaking out over the fact that I would continue to get these units every week or so. I did not have the room and that meant that I would have to find a much bigger place than my two bedroom apartment. Now it was Monday morning and I had to drop Anderson off at daycare before going to work.

Glancing at the stove's clock I noticed I only had thirty minutes to get Anderson up and dressed and to daycare before I had to be at work. _I could just leave Anderson with Feliciano for the day._

Mulling that thought over for a few more minutes I weighed the pros and cons before finally consenting. After all, the manual did say he was good with kids and one of his suggested jobs was babysitter. Mind made up I grabbed a piece of paper from a spiral notebook on the table and quickly jotted down a schedule for Feliciano to follow. Satisfied that I had covered everthing of importance that I could think of I rose from the kitchen table and walked in to the living room where I had set up Feliciano's temporary bedroom.

Kneeling beside the couch where the Italian was sleeping I reached out and started to shake his shoulder. It took a few tries before the male woke up enough for me to give him instructions and the schedule.

"Listen Feliciano I've got to leave for work. I'll be back around four. I usually take Anderson to his daycare, but I'm going to leave him with you today. I made a schedule for you to follow, so you should be fine. I'm trusting you to take care of my son. Oh! And if that other unit arrives today DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT, open it. Wait for me to get home. Understood?"

Feliciano gave a determined, yet cute smile and did one of his little salutes before dropping back down on to the couch asleep. Shaking my head in disbelief I sent up a small prayer that nothing major would go wrong today.

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><p>AN: Sorry if this chapter sucked. Oh and kudos to you who can guess who's coming in next. Here's a hint: Brown hair and a sexy ass.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I really apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out. I got a bad case of writer's block and I honestly lost interest in all of my stories and writing in general. And to be honest this chapter gave me so much fucking trouble and it isn't even that long. I was considering just giving up on this story but after re-reading a couple of your reviews you guys gave me the push I needed to finish this chapter. Also I'm enrolled full time in college so most days I was so fucking tired I wanted to do nothing but sleep or veg out in front of my T.V.

Anyway, I apologize in advance if this chapter sucks. Now I want to thank: **cross-over-lover232, **Patrich11, **Cifer10, **LolliDictator, **libertykid, kimmay94, invisiblecanada******, , Loudheart14, Nitedream, Chibi Russia-kun, Missing Vati, SoraForever, AlbinoAwesome, KiaraWangWilliams, and **everyone who has added this story to their alerts and faves**. ****I especially really want to thank AlbinoAwesome. S/he really gave me the kick in the ass I needed to start thinking about this story again.

~PRG

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><p>Man worrying really just fucking sucks. I spent the entire day with more or less doomsday scenarios running rampant in my head. So imagine my surprise, not to mention relief when I got home and Feliciano had followed my instructions to the letter.<p>

Anyway, that was yesterday. Today I took a sick day so that I could try to acclimate my two houseguests. And to be quite honest I didn't want to leave them both by themselves. God only knows what trouble they could or would dredge up.

Swallowing slightly I turned my attention to my guests. They were in some kind of passionate discussion that had Anderson giggling like a loon.

I honestly had no idea what I was going to do. I could barely get by as it was with just Anderson and me. I had been playing with the idea of transferring to the base where my father's vacation home was. I know that he would have no problem with me living there; in fact, he wanted me closer to him. The thing is I'm a damned prideful person and my pride would definitely take a huge blow.

As it seemed now, transferring was looking to be my only option. I doubted there would be any places for sale around here that I could afford or that were big enough. However, transferring was going to be easier said than done.

Frowning in contemplation, I rose from the couch and made my way to the kitchen. I had left both manuals on the table and if what was needed was going to be done then the information inside of the manual was essential.

The two males that had taken up residence in my home would have to acquire jobs; that way if and when I got the transfer we wouldn't be too pressed for money. Besides they would've had to get jobs sooner than later because there was no way in hell I was going to support two or more very capable men.

Personally, I was leaning toward babysitter for Feliciano. I just couldn't imagine him as a stripper no matter how good looking he was. As for Antonio, I would simply let him choose his own profession as long as it wasn't something that would reflect poorly on me.

Nodding to myself, I called said men into the kitchen. Gesturing for them to sit I wasted no time in delving into my idea. "So as much as it would be awesome if you guys didn't have to work, you do. No ifs, ands, or buts. If either don't like it then the door is in the next room and don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out."

I know it was harsh and I could've worded it more delicately, but I tended to be blunt. Lucky for me neither man seemed offended. In fact, the Spaniard began to smile dopily. "Ah, senorita I wouldn't mind finding employment. Maybe as a tomato farmer or oh, oh a dance instructor, or maybe even a….."

I couldn't help the laugh that burst from me. "Yes, yes. Whatever you want so long as it isn't anything that could reflect badly upon me. Besides the work is probably going to be temporary."

Whatever was going to be said next was interrupted when my son came into the room yawning. A quick glance at the clock told me it was way past his usual bedtime. Gesturing for the two men to stay put I rose and gathered the boy up.

It was usually very easy to get Anderson to bed, but it seemed that with the two new additions to the house he was wont to spend more time with them.

It took a full fifteen minutes of bribery, threats, and assurances before he finally settled down and I was able to return to the men. Exhaling silently, I reclaimed my position across from both. Glancing at Feliciano I could tell he was beginning to nod off. This led to another issue making itself known. I had no idea whether or not Feliciano and Antonio would mind bunking together if we weren't out of here before the new unit arrived.

Stuffing the thought away for another time I addressed the Italian. "Feliciano, hun you need to go to bed." Smiling stupidly the boy got up and did something I really should have expected, but didn't. He hugged me.

Stiffening I awkwardly returned the hug until he let go. Flashing both Antonio and I a smile he tossed a "buonanotte" over his shoulder and trotted off to where I had set up for him to sleep. I almost missed the Spaniard addressing me as the troubles began to clamor for attention again.

"Senorita, if you don't mind me asking, where is Anderson's father?"

The question was innocent enough but it brought back the old anger and bitterness I thought I had gotten under control. "Anderson's father wanted nothing to do with the life he created, or me for that matter when he found out I was pregnant."

I paused only for a second not giving the Spaniard enough time to comment.

"Anyway, follow me and I'll show you where you'll be sleeping."


End file.
